Potty Humour

Since we last talked, I have a newfound appreciation for public washrooms. As part of my wife's pregnancy in 2020, she went for her 20 week ultrasound and got a few phone calls shortly thereafter suggesting the technician saw something on the scan that didn't look right and she was being referred to the prenatal diagnostic clinic in Hamilton.  We went through this with kid 1 and it turned out to be nothing, so we were not overly concerned about what we were going to find out. But that was when we didn't have any kids (out in the world, at least) and the world was open still. So we went, had our appointments, found it was a very slim chance that something could be abnormal 1/350 based on the markers), and then went to Ikea for lunch.

This time around, we had a toddler that we had to take with us, and due to Covid precautions, my wife could only go into the hospital alone, and we had to go two days in a row because they couldn't get a single slot for both appointments in a short amount of time. So we loaded up the car and drove to Hamilton. I dropped my wife at the front door and drove to the back of the McMaster campus where there was a large, empty parking lot for the toddler to run around in. About 20 minutes in, I realized that I had to go. Due to everything being closed, it was up to me finding a place in nature. I quickly realized there were people nearby, so I thought quick and [awkwardly] used the potty we had in the back of the car for the toddler.  Day 2, same thing, but this time we were on a trail in nearby woods and, after checking to ensure the coast was clear, I was able to find a tree. But after this appointment, the results still weren't conclusive and we had to go back a few weeks later for yet another appointment.

Three weeks later, the temperature had warmed up but Covid precautions were still in place. We were off to Hamilton yet again for both ultrasound and reporting session in the same day, a few hours apart. With activities packed to entertain a toddler for that time, we returned to our parking lot at the back of the campus and started walking around (we saw two deer prancing around). This time, I started getting the feeling that I had to go, but not the kind that I could utilize a tree for without being arrested. I tried to walk it off, but that wasn’t a wise idea. I loaded back in the car, hoping I could hold it for a while longer, but the urge wasn't going away.  After a brief look at Google Maps trying to find if any buildings were open on the university campus, a moment of "Hallelujah!" came- there was a building with a Tim Horton's that claimed it was open across campus, so we made a bee-line for it. I unloaded from the car (with a potty break for the toddler first), and started running to the doors (I'm sure you can guess where this is going) only to find them locked and my desperation only increased.

We've all heard the saying "When you gotta go, you gotta go," and this was no different.  I found a local employee of the university and asked if there were any buildings that were open with a washroom. I was directed to the student centre.  "Where's that?" was responded to with a vague point and the words "That way".  She then agreed to walk with us around the corner of the building and point the general direction of the open building and describe a few surrounding features. I said thanks without much certainty that I was going to find it and started to run as fast as someone in my situation could while pushing a stroller on a warm day. I’m sure it was quite comical to see a fully grown man running with a stroller not meant for being used at speed across an almost empty university campus, but eventually I found the right building, located the washroom, and was very thankful for the opportunity to take care of my situation without causing an unfortunate disaster.

As for the reason of the visit to Hamilton, all ended up being well and our child is healthy and happy (most of the time at least).